Feeling stuck in a job you hate but not sure what to do instead? Come to my free workshop February 6th 2025 from 12-1 pm PST. You will get help figuring out what you should do, how to protect your dreams from the ways your self-protection will try to stop you making change, and hear about how coaching can support your goals. No smarmy pressure or sales tactics.

You’re feeling guilty about the wrong thing when it comes to self-care. We are taught, especially as women, that we should be selfless and giving, allllllll the time. So of course the thought of taking time for ourselves feels ‘selfish’! But what actually happens to us when we constantly pour into others and don’t do our own self-care? Burn out. Stress. Overwhelm. Irritability. Sleep problems. Headaches. And eventually, serious health problems.

You say yes when you actually kind of don’t want to, or you don’t have time.

You feel responsible for how other people feel and making sure they feel better. 

You feel guilty for prioritizing yourself or your wants. 

You beat yourself up for the smallest mistakes or missteps.

You put other people’s needs and goals at the top of your to-do list.

When we feel anxious about doing social things, like leading a meeting, giving a presentation or training, or even going to an event with people we don’t really know, there is a great strategy that can help. The first step is to actually name what exactly you are scared will happen. We usually don’t put a specific label on our amorphous general fears of unknown situations.

Your brain’s job is to help you survive, not to thrive. And what is known is safer than the unknown, untried. So when you try to make a change, your brain will likely do all it can to keep you from trying something new. This is why your efforts to protect yourself are likely keeping you stuck, and you need to find a way to counteract this natural survival instinct.