The potential of fresh starts

I love a fresh start. Fresh start Monday. Fresh start every morning. New Year, New Start. And since once a year is never often enough, I also celebrate the transition from one quarter to the next, e.g. bring a little of the effervescence of NYE to the year every 3 months, and celebrate Quarterly New Years Eves. Hurrah!

I love the possibility of a fresh start to keep me from getting stuck when things don’t work out. When I have a bad day. Or a day where I just can’t even. (Or a week.) Instead of throwing in the towel and giving up, it allows me to give myself a little more grace when I need it, knowing I can always begin again.

In her book, How to Change, Katy Milkman refers to the potential of fresh starts to help us take the initiative to begin pursuing a goal because people are often more open to change when they feel they have a fresh start, or a clean slate.

Usually a fresh start is marked by the calendar (e.g. a birthday, NYE, an anniversary, Mondays, etc.) or an event (e.g. changing jobs, graduating, leaving home, having children, etc.). But why not harness the potential of fresh starts on a smaller scale, on your own terms?

If there is a change you are wanting or already working on making but you notice you get stuck along the way, feel somehow defeated, and then give up on it, you’re not alone. There’s a reason change is hard and so many people struggle to change, because it’s usually something you need to work at again and again. And especially if you are trying to start or stop doing something, it is faaaaaaar easier to fall back into the habits and behaviors you are used to. Your brain prefers a “familiar hell to an unfamiliar heaven”. So you will fall back, and you will need to gather yourself back up and try again. And often over and over until you break through.

So if you find yourself midway through February, and your goals and dreams from the fresh start of January 1st are becoming lost in the fog of time already, how can you create a fresh start for yourself? To recommit to making the most of your life. To becoming the person you want to be. To building the life you dream of. To get better sleep. To drink more water. To be more patient.

I think another reason giving yourself more fresh starts is so impactful is because it takes away some of the power of “failure”. It can be so tempting to get down on yourself when you struggle to follow through with your goals for yourself. To beat yourself up and try to shame yourself into never messing up again. But let me ask you, how is that working? Lulz, probably not great. Shame is never motivating. Shame makes you want to curl up in a closet and hide from the world.

So instead of focusing on how you are struggling to follow through with the changes you want, know you can always have a fresh start. And if you do wobble away from your goals, that’s ok. Don’t beat yourself up. Give yourself a little encouragement and a little understanding that you are human and pobody’s nerfect. Look for, or create, your next fresh start and… begin again.

You got this.

Sending you your own personal mini cheer from me to you!

- Livia