You say yes when you actually kind of don’t want to, or you don’t have time.

You feel responsible for how other people feel and making sure they feel better. 

You feel guilty for prioritizing yourself or your wants. 

You beat yourself up for the smallest mistakes or missteps.

You put other people’s needs and goals at the top of your to-do list.

When we feel anxious about doing social things, like leading a meeting, giving a presentation or training, or even going to an event with people we don’t really know, there is a great strategy that can help. The first step is to actually name what exactly you are scared will happen. We usually don’t put a specific label on our amorphous general fears of unknown situations.

Your brain’s job is to help you survive, not to thrive. And what is known is safer than the unknown, untried. So when you try to make a change, your brain will likely do all it can to keep you from trying something new. This is why your efforts to protect yourself are likely keeping you stuck, and you need to find a way to counteract this natural survival instinct.

The luxury of options can often lead to paralysis. When you feel stuck and miserable in life, but can’t seem to figure out what you should be doing, or how to find your purpose, the large number of things you could choose can be the exact reason you can’t choose.

New Year’s resolutions usually fail. Using habits helps. Being aware of your patterns and continuously intentional about building the life you actually want for yourself makes change happen. Making a plan to hold Quarterly New Year’s Eve check-ins for yourself is a fun way to harness the power of optimism and fresh starts throughout your year, not just once.

Why couldn’t I figure out what I should be doing? I was frustrated and stuck because I just could not figure it out so I couldn’t move forward.

I wish I would have come across this advice: What if you don’t have a purpose?…