How do I figure out what I should be doing?

I know I spent so much time wracking my brains over this question in my twenties. What is my purpose? What should I do with my life? Why can’t I figure it out? I was so frustrated and I was so stuck because I just could not figure it out so I couldn’t move forward.

I wish I would have come across this advice: What if you don’t have a purpose? What if your purpose is what you decide to make it? What if you get to have many different purposes throughout your life? Not just one.

The older and wiser I get, the more I think this is a much more helpful way to look at your life’s purpose. You don’t magically discover your purpose (ok, maybe some people get lucky and do), but you start with what you are good at, what you like to do, what interests you, what the world needs, and you keep adding pieces to the puzzle. 

Or what if you get really existential crisis-y and decide there is no purpose to anything? Just like the plants and animals in the natural world, we are here to be, just to exist. What then? If your purpose is only as meaningful as you make it, how does that change things? What burden does that lift?

How exciting if you don’t have to worry about “figuring” it all out, finding the “right” thing to do, or what you “should” do, and you get to create your purpose on your terms because it fits you. After all, we all know plenty of people who are doing what they “should” be and it is making them miserable. 

What if, instead of figuring it all out first, you start with collecting your pile of small good things. Your interests, moments you felt proud or accomplished, what puts you in flow, what your community needs that you enjoy doing, what you are good at, and keep adding to the list. 

And yes, perhaps for now you need to keep your day job that doesn’t feel meaningful to survive, and that does take time and energy. But once you see it as just a paycheck, and you start to cultivate your own meaning and taking small steps towards what lights you up, you may find you have more energy for life outside your paycheck job. And eventually you can create your next purposeful job so you can quit. 

But for now, the first step is to stop trying to figure it all out before you start choosing what your life will be about. Keep moving towards what feels purposeful to you and adding to your pile of small good things.  

Oh, and if you’re like me and too impatient to wait for it to become clear organically? Coaching can speed up the process like adding gasoline to the campfire. But if you just want to fan the flames first, work through my free download ‘What do you actually want’ in the menu above.