Why can’t I figure out what I should do?!
What’s my purpose?! I know I spent so much time wracking my brains over this question in my twenties. What is my purpose? What should I do with my life? Why can’t I figure it out? I was so frustrated and I was so stuck because I just could not figure it out so I couldn’t move forward.
I wish I would have come across this advice: What if you don’t have a purpose? What if your purpose is what you decide to make it? What if you get to have many different ones throughout your life? Not just one.
The older and wiser I get, the more I think this is a much more helpful way to look at your life. You don’t magically discover your purpose (ok, maybe some people get lucky and do), but you start with what you are good at, what you like to do, what interests you, what the world needs, and you keep adding pieces to the puzzle.
How exciting if you don’t have to worry about “figuring” it all out, finding the “right” thing to do, or what you “should” do, and you get to create your purpose on your terms because it fits you. After all, we all know plenty of people who are doing what they “should” be doing, and it is making them miserable.
So start here:
Instead of figuring it all out first, you just start with collecting your “pile of small good things”.
What interests you,
times when you felt proud or accomplished,
what puts you in the flow state where you’re so focused and engaged time disappears (not scrolling socials!),
what your community needs that you enjoy doing,
what you are good at,
…and keep adding to the list.
And yes, perhaps for now you need to keep your day job which doesn’t feel meaningful so you can survive, and that does take time and energy. But once you see it as just a paycheck, and you start to cultivate your own meaning and taking small steps towards what lights you up, you may find you have more energy for life outside your paycheck-job. And eventually you can create your next purposeful job so you can quit.
But for now, the first step is to stop trying to figure it all out. Keep moving towards what feels purposeful to you and adding to your pile of small good things.
Oh, and if you’re like me and too impatient to wait for it to become clear organically? Coaching can speed up the process like adding gasoline to the campfire. Message me to see how coaching can help you.