This is why you aren’t making the changes you want
Can you relate to this? For years I had been such a good employee, going the extra mile, bending over backwards to be good at my job, and at first it felt good. I got a lot of purpose and meaning from putting my non-profit job first, and doing things for other people was so much easier than doing things for myself, plus I got a lot of praise and appreciation for all my efforts! Fast forward 10 years later, I’m underpaid, burnt out, stagnant in my career, and my growth and learning (which is a top value for me), bored, and resentful of the years I have dedicated to my job with “nothing” to show for it.
One day after crying in my car at work out of frustration and misery that I continued to be stuck in a position I knew I had outgrown, I came across this quote:
“Why are other people’s goals at the top of your to-do list?”
Uh, wait, what? Why am I putting my boss’s goals as my priority?! I WAS spending all my time working for someone and putting their needs and goals at the top of my to do list… which left me with nothing for myself at the end of the day.
It put my situation in perspective, and more importantly, it gave me a way to take my power and my life back.
WHY are other people’s goals at the top of your list? It can be astounding to realize how much you are actually CHOOSING to put other’s needs before your own AND being aware of that can give you back a sense of control and options.
It means you don’t have to continue to be in this position. If you could choose to put other people’s goals at the top of your to-do list, (and do good work for them) well dangnabbit, you could CHOOSE to put your own at the top and do the same good work for yourself and your dreams!
Reminding myself of this gave me some added fire in my belly too! Whenever I was feeling defeated, or listless, returning to this question was a reminder that I could, and would, choose to intentionally put my own goals at the top of my to-do list and continue making the changes I needed to move forward and change my situation. I had the power, and the motivation to stop putting my life on hold for other people’s goals.